Sunday, January 17, 2016
Randi in a nutshell.
Randi can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. She once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield all in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. She's written an opera. She can tread water for three days in a row, she woos men with her sensuous trombone playing, she cooks thirty minute brownies in twenty minutes. Using only a hoe and a large class of water, she once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde or ferocious army ants. She is the subject of numerous documentaries. She enjoys urban hang gliding and Critics worldwide swoon over her original line of corduroy evening wear. While on vacation in Canada, she successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists that had seized a small bakery. Randi invented full-contact origami. She's spoken with Elvis.
She's the coolest person you've ever heard of. She is... Randi Tucker.
Skiing
Newsies
When the cast of Newsies on Broadway found out Randi was in New York, they offered her second-row seats and lined up to meet her afterwards. This is actually totally true.
True story.
While visiting New York, Randi somehow took a bag of half-melted ice and a good portion of love and made herself and several orphaned children some gelato.
You're not hardcore unless you live hardcore.
Randi doesn't believe in oven mitts or pot holders or curling iron handles.
They are for lesser mortals who can't handle the pain.
They are for lesser mortals who can't handle the pain.
She's efficient
Randi knows how to get stuff done in the most efficient ways possible. She even discovered a shortcut once while skydiving.
Awards galore.
You see that thing Randi wrote down there on the bottom right?
Yeah, that won her the Pulitzer last year.
Rebel
Randi not only refuses to wait a half hour after eating to swim, she actually swims a half hour before she's done eating.
Happy frappy
Whatever side of the bed Randi gets out of is the right side, even if she switches suddenly after waking up to the wrong side, it'll still be on the right side.
Remorse
Once a rattlesnake bit Randi, and after 5 days of excruciating pain, the snake finally died of remorse.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)




































